where it starts...

 Growing up, I did not think much of self-love and all that stuff.  I only knew that I was "too sensitive" and that part about me, I did not like.  It made me feel kind of odd, more like a package with a "fragile" label, and I did not feel fragile in the full sense, nor was I treated as such.  I was rebellious, at least inside of me, hard-headed and full of an adventurous soul.  It is true that I was easily hurt and would cry silently to heal the wounds.  I was also just as sensitive if I hurt someone else.  I would stay up most of the night wondering how to correct or take back what I said or did.

I did not learn about self love but I knew there were some things that I hated about myself and that were less than welcome; one of them was the too much sensitivity.  Another thing akin to it was when people called me "dreamy" but it always sounded like an insult. that one, too.  

My shyness! OMG! that was so hard! I found it hard to speak up when I was outside of my close circle.  I battled with it.  I did.  I remember at my KG years that I had a conversation with myself about how to approach other girls so I can start playing with them. and that I did.  The shyness never went totally.  and sometimes, I felt like Ella the Enchanted unable to speak.  Now for a trainer, who enjoys talking, that seems a bit weird but it is not the same.

Time passed by.  The things I did not like did not disappear, but... I found ways to manage them differently.  Sometimes by burying them somewhere.  other times by placating with them, and others by having the key to their volume.

and yet, they were still a stain!

Until 2008! with the first coaching class to join... I owned them all back! suddenly, they were all of use. Suddenly all of me was good, was needed, appreciated and useful... not just the other practical parts.

a deep breath and a sigh of disbelief released them all 

and that when I knew that yes we can love ourselves

but out love to ourselves - and to others- is not complete until love all of it!